Virtual Moment of Joy!
Cheerfully brought to you by:
KC Christensen-Lang, Joyologist / Success Coach
March 2007
 

FAN MAIL OF THE MOMENT

"K.C - Thanks for the newsletters. They always seem to arrive exactly on a day that I most need some laughter. Your sense of timing is terrific!" Mary O'Reilly

“I love reading your newsletter KC. Thanks. Usually I pass it on to someone else after reading it.” Diana Allen, wife of U.S. Representative Tom Allen, Maine

“KC Thank you so much for your encouragement and support during my coaching sessions. You made an impact on how I manage my life. I am saying no more often to things I don’t want to do, and am putting more effort into the things I do want to do. Thank You!" A.H. New Hampshire

"Hi KC! Great newsletter, as always! We just got this joke thru e-mail (See below) and it made both of us laugh for days. Thought it might be fun to pass it along to your readers! Business sounds like it's been terrific for you; we're still plugging away as well. Have fun, and keep smilin'!" Angelique and Almodarr, Almodarr's Grand Illusion, New England Magic Champions www.SteelgraveMagic.com

AMAZING HAND-CARVED WOODEN CAR OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Candy Morong, C M Appraisals

SECRET OF THE MOMENT

Okay….so it’s not a secret anymore! You’ve probably heard the BIG buzz about the bestselling book and DVD, “The Secret.” From splashy headlines, two lively shows on Oprah, to the hot topics on talk shows and magazines, the secret REALLY is out! Nothing new to those of us in the personal development/self-help/peak potential industry, it’s all about the awesome laws of ATTRACTION; something us Coaches talk with our clients about every day. But it’s a fantastic, life-changing philosophy to practice and my clients blossom when they do!  The universe is energy…and like a mirror. Whatever you put out, you will attract back. Your thoughts, words, ideas…are energy too so do your best to put out POSITIVE ENERGY so that is what attracts back to you! Attraction AND action make for a powerful combination. Generate it in YOUR life! Where to get help? That’s no secret! Contact me for a coaching session and move forward faster than you ever believed possible. Email me at happinessis@toolsforpositiveliving.com

QUIZ OF THE MOMENT

What is lightweight, easy to read, four pages, packed full of helpful business and life tips and doesn’t cost you a cent? The latest issue of our “Powerful Tools For Positive Living” newsletter of course! Want one sent to your home or office? Just give us your mailing address HERE!

HOT-OFF-THE PRESS FOR THE MOMENT

Yup! At long last, they have FINALLY arrived. Whew! My new book, “Speaking of Success” featuring me, with the famed bestselling authors and brilliant personal development gurus, Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul), Ken Blanchard (One Minute Manager) and Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People).  If you’ve bought one already, they are now in the mail to you….if not, grab a copy while the price is still $14.95. Hey, I’ll even autograph it for you!

UNIQUE APPLICATION PROCESS OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Rebecca Mosness

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The woman said, "Unbutton your shirt."

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, "That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, "You should have dropped your pants... you might have gotten disability, too."

NAUGHTY NUN OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Bonnie Bufford

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."  "I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"  "Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not 100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

"You missed the f---ing putt, didn't you?"

UNIQUE COW OF THE MOOOO-MENT
Courtesy of Andrea Lee

WISDOM OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Patrice Sweet, www.stunningspaces.net

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, violent river. Needing to get to the other side, the first man prayed: "God, please give me the strength to cross the river."  Poof!.....God gave him big arms and strong legs and he was able to swim across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed: "God, please give me strength and the tools to cross the river."  Poof!......God gave him a rowboat and strong arms and strong legs and he was able to row across in about an hour after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men, the third man prayed: "God, please give me the strength, the tools and the intelligence to cross the river."  Poof!.....He was turned into a woman. She checked the map, hiked one hundred yards up stream and walked across the bridge.

EXERCISE OF THE MOMENT

It is well documented that for every minute that you exercise, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

QUOTE OF THE MOMENT

A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

INTERESTING FACTS OF THE MOMENT

1.  Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
2. Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4- year old Boy.
3. No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
4. Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
5. VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV commercials show they do.
6. You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.

THINGS WOMEN NEVER SAY OF THE MOMENT



PR OF THE MOMENT
Betty Hoeffner, Founder, www.HeyUGLY.org 

A blind man sat on the steps of a building with a worn hat by his feet and a handmade sign that read: "I am blind, please help."
A creative publicist walking by, stopped. He saw that the blind man had only a few coins in his hat. He dropped in a few more and, without asking for permission, picked up the sign and rewrote it.

He returned the sign to the blind man and left. That afternoon, the publicist paused by the blind man and noticed that his hat was now full of bills and coins.
The blind man recognized his footsteps and asked if it was he who had changed his sign and wanted to know what he had written on it.

The publicist responded: "Nothing that was not true. I just wrote the message a little differently." He smiled and went on his way.
The new sign read: "Today is Spring and I cannot see it."

PUZZLE OF THE MOMENT

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started." Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?" The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger."

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.  He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."  He takes her hand and says, "Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then ..." He sighed........  "Let's put all the Frosted Flakes back in the box......."

INCREDIBLE CHALK DRAWING OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of 3D Chalk Artist Julian Beever

MARRIAGE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Jeanie Stone

A man and woman had been married for more than 60 years.  They had shared everything. They had talked about everything. They had kept no secrets from each other except that the little old woman had a shoe box in the top of her  closet that she had cautioned her husband never to open or ask her about.

For all of these years, he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would not recover.

In trying to sort out their affairs, the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside.

She agreed that it was time that he should know what was in the box. When he opened it, he found two crocheted dolls and a stack of money totaling $95,000.

He asked her about the contents. "When we were to be married," she said, "my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doll."

The little old man was so moved; he had to fight back tears. Only two precious dolls were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with happiness.

"Honey," he said, "that explains the doll, but what about all of this money? Where did it come from?"

"Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the dolls."

HONESTY OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Kim Peck

TAMMY (age 4) was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked, "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"

BRITTANY (age 4) had an earache and wanted a painkiller. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a childproof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"

TORTURE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of George Lang

POSITIVE ATTITUDE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Cheerman of the Bored, Steve Wilson, www.worldlaughtertour.com 

There once was a woman who woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and noticed she had only three hairs on her head.

"Well," she said, "I think I'll braid my hair today?"  So she did and she had a wonderful day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and saw that she had only two hairs on her head.

"H-M-M," she said, "I think I'll part my hair down the middle today?"

So she did and she had a grand day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that she had only one hair on her head.

"Well," she said, "today I'm going to wear my hair in a pony tail." So she did and she had a fun, fun day.

The next day she woke up, looked in the mirror and noticed that there wasn't a single hair on her head.

"YEA!" she exclaimed, "I don't have to fix my hair today!"

Attitude is everything.

FUN BROWSING OF THE MOMENT

Check out our new Happy Marketplace below. If you want to be included, just let us know!

TICKLE ME ELMO OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Angelique Almodarr

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM.

The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule. The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the two men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Lena surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The two men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics, he pulls himself together and approaches Lena .

"I'm sorry," he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, "but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you yesterday. Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles."

SENSE OF HUMOR OF THE MOMENT

Since we know YOU have one, how about sharing that good nature with your friends and co-workers? Want to make ‘em smile? Forward this “Virtual Moment of Joy” to them; we appreciate it too!

HAPPY SPRING,
 

      
KC Christensen-Lang, Success Coach/Joyologist
PR Consultant/Publicist/Speaker/Trainer
Multiple Streams of Income / Make Money While You Sleep Licensee
Owner/CEO, HAPPINESS IS...
(207) 361-2084
www.ToolsForPositiveLiving.com  
www.DynamicDuoPR.com  
 

HAPPY MARKETPLACE OF THE MOMENT

Welcome to our new HAPPY MARKETPLACE!  If you contact any of the vendors below, please let them know we sent you!  Happy Browsing!

The National Association of Baby Boomer Women is the only association dedicated to enlightening, educating and empowering baby boomer women. We believe in empowering women at midlife to explore their passions and live life to the fullest. Please visit us at www.nabbw.com and see what we have to offer you.

Need a Baby Gift? There is nothing more fun than shopping for a baby... well, except for the baby itself!  We offer cool and fun baby gifts and gift ideas for wee ones and their parents.  Save 10% on your first order with our Grand Opening Special Offer.  www.MyFavoriteBabyGifts.com

Diets Don't Work! "Treating" the pancreas does. Free phone consultation with Wellness & Weight Loss Coach Barbara Lippincott, (813-886-2487) to learn how weight issues are often created by the pancreas. Get to the root of the problem, eliminate difficulty losing and maintaining weight. The side benefit is improved health and a more joyous life. www.losethepounds.matol.com

Work Smarter Not Harder! We’ll help grow your business, attract media, speaking gigs, promote your book, product, service. Forget menial tasks; do what you love! Reduce stress; contact Dynamic Duo: PR Coach & Virtual Assistant dedicated to Your success; Two Pros For One Price! FREE Session! http://www.DynamicDuoPR.com

AdWorks Marketing & Communications. Web site development, Digital audio/video production, Voiceover artist for animated movies, radio and television. Award winning broadcast copywriting. Clients; Suzuki, McDonalds, American Airlines, Liberty Mutual and others. "Activate Your Image". Call 603-659-7771 or visit www.adworks.net 
 

Want your own small, but mighty ad emailed to hundreds of subscribers worldwide? Email your 50 word description to email address above. Only $25.00 USD. Reserve your spot for the March issue. First come, first serve. (Note: We reserve the right to refuse an ad nor do we claim any responsibility for the vendor or their products/services.)
 

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