Virtual Moment of Joy

Virtual Moment of Joy!
Cheerfully brought to you by:
KC Christensen-Lang, Joyologist / Success Coach
September 2007

Greeting You Good-Natured Subscribers! How are all of you anyway? Amazed as I am that August has flown by and we are smack dab in the middle of autumn?! Here in beautiful Maine, the leaves are changing into brilliant fiery Fall colors and the leaf peepers are starting to arrive. It’s a reminder to take time to appreciate what you have around you…how often do you remember to savor what you have in your own backyard? Welcome to all our new subscribers worldwide. Despite all the unrest in the world, how wonderful it is to know that all of us are joining together to do our part to spread cheer to each other in other lands! Remember, we all smile in the same language.” Keep sharing those puns, cartoons, quotes and stories…and your exciting progress. We love to hear from you so we can support you in your busy lives…from the workplace…to your home…no matter where you live! Keep in touch!

Until next time, savor those moments of joy,

KC J

FAN MAIL OF THE MOMENT

"I get both and amazed by all the positive things in the world KC find to focus on. What an inspiration." Dotsie, Founder of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. www.nabbw.com, www.boomerwomenspeak.com

"As always, I really enjoy reading your e-newsletter." Barbara Lippincott, www.losethepounds.matol.com

Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, partied a little too much and woke up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." The jailers threw the switch and nothing happened. They all immediately fell to the floor on their knees, begged for forgiveness, and released her.

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to intervene on the part of the innocent." Again they threw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from the University of Tennessee and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in."

THOUGHTS OF THE MOMENT

"Life is like a roller-coaster. You can either hang on for dear life and scream in terror, or you can put your hands up in the air and enjoy the ride." - Karne

AUTUMN SPECIAL OF THE MOMENT

It's fall and as the seasons shift and the leaves change, how about we focus on YOU!? Your own life changes! Your personal development? Your business growth? Your success and happiness? My smart and savvy Executive Assistant and I have designed a brand new life-changing- business building-take you to a whole new level-Dynamic Duo Package just for you. Check it out and get ready to TURN OVER A NEW LEAF THIS FALL! Read all the exciting details HERE!

TOP QUALITY LOGOS AT UNBELIEVABLE RATES

Many of you keep asking about new logos and where I got my company's logo. It got me thinking that you, dear reader, may be going through transition in your company, upgrading your image or starting up a new biz and be considering a new logo. I'm all for supporting local businesses first, but The Logo Company did come highly recommended and wanted to share this "positive tool" with you. After reviewing their detailed online website, I was impressed with their expertise and numerous testimonials from satisfied customers. When I ordered mine, their service was fast and easy, the quality excellent and they allowed me to make countless free design changes. Another bonus...their prices were very affordable! So...For a great logo resource, click: The Logo Company

WORTHY CAUSE OF THE MOMENT

In addition to my wonderful coaching and PR clients, I have come out of retirement from my 30 + years in the nonprofit world; and am now the new Director of Development and Community Relations for a wonderful nonprofit called Avis Goodwin Community Health Center in New Hampshire. It's amazing how things come full circle. During the interview for this executive role, I was given a tour of their sites where thousands of people of all ages receive medical and dental care, regardless of their ability to pay. They also showed me the place where they give nutrition tips, education, resources and free food to mothers who can't afford to feed their kids.

I was so impressed and then suddenly I was struck with a big whopping dose of dejavu! I had been one of those struggling single moms. Ten years before, I was juggling six jobs and two little boys (and an ex-husband who didn't pay child support) and there was still not enough to pay the rising rental and all the expenses. It was THIS little health center...started years ago by a single mom and ER nurse who saw a need to help young pregnant girls and young moms....that had given me a leg up so I could survive! Life is full of karmic magic! Now, a decade later...happily remarried with three great kids and a growing company...I am now part of their team and am able to raise money and awareness for this great nonprofit...and help them help thousands of other folks of all ages!! Ain't life grand?

So if you ever need a tax-deduction and are looking for a worthy nonprofit organization to support or have an extra clean stuffed animal to contribute to their Teddy Bear Clinic to help ease kids fears of doctors...then contact me at kc@toolsforpositiveliving.com. I'll make sure this health center gets 'em! We'd appreciate it! And remember...what happens today may affect you tomorrow!

BEST SEARCH OF THE MOMENT

Support your favorite charity or school just by searching the web or shopping online. As you know, I'm a supporter of Avis Goodwin Community Health Center, an easy way to help this organization or any other cause you care about is through a new search engine powered by Yahoo! and online shopping site called GoodSearch. GoodSearch will make a donation to your favorite charity or school with every search and every online purchase at one of their partner merchants (including The Gap, Target and Barnes and Nobel!). It doesn't cost you a thing — the money comes from the advertisers and the stores. The more people who use this site, the more money will go to those in need. So please spread the word to your friends and family. You can also read about GoodSearch in the NY Times, Oprah Magazine, CNN, the Wall Street Journal, and more. http://www.goodsearch.com/Default.aspx

FUN QUESTIONS OF THE MOMENT

Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?

SOARING COLLEGE COSTS OF THE MOMENT

Did you hear about the banker who was recently arrested for embezzling $100,000 to pay for his daughter's college education?

As the policeman, who also had a daughter in college, was leading him away in handcuffs, he said to the banker, "I have just one question for you. Where were you going to get the rest of the money?"

Bill Gates is hanging out with the chairman of General Motors. "If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades," boasts Gates, "you would now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. Or, you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case, the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50."

"Sure," says the GM chairman. "But would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

SHOPPING FOR THE MOMENT

The new Kroger supermarkets have an automatic water mister to keep the produce fresh. Just before it goes on, you hear the sound of distant thunder and the smell of fresh rain.

When you approach the milk cases, you hear cows mooing and witness the scent of fresh hay.

When you approach the egg case, you hear hens cluck and cackle and the air is filled with the pleasing aroma of bacon and eggs frying.

The veggie department features the smell of fresh-buttered corn.

I don't buy toilet paper there any more.

DOCTOR/NURSES' STORIES OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Cliff Cornhall

I was caring for a woman and asked, "So how's your breakfast this morning?" "It's very good, except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can't seem to get used to the taste" the patient replied. I then asked to see the jelly and the woman produced a foil packet labeled "KY Jelly."   Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit , MI

A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room, when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered. It was quickly determined that the patient had acute appendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her lower private parts had been dyed green, and above it there was a tattoo that read, "Keep off the grass." Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient's dressing, which said, "Sorry, had to mow the lawn."   Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!!!......

As a new, young MD doing his residency, I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams. To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly. The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me. I looked up from my work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?" She replied, "No doctor, but the song you were whistling was, "I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener".   Dr. wouldn't submit his name

POPULAR FOR THE MOMENT

Our cheerful little company keeps attracting humor and laughter-lovin’ folks and media the world over. Recently I heard from Readers Digest, Arthititis Today, HR magazine and ABC Wife Swap (yes, I turned the latter down..hhee).

MYSTERY OF THE MOMENT

The latest media connection was a friendly Photo Editor named Margaret from one of my favorite publishing companies, Workman Publishing. Turns out she came upon a past issue of our Virtual Moment of Joy and wanted to know if we knew who took the funny Nun photo. I'm showing it again to trigger your memory. I have no idea, but since she...like us…makes a “habit” (yes, pun intended) of spreading cheer and loves to laugh, I’d like to help her. SOOOO…dear readers if you know, please contact her at margaret@workman.com She’s also complying a hysterical calendar on nuns having fun and is looking for funny nun photos; so if you are a nun or know a good-natured sister from church, contact Margaret! Thanks! :)

Need something worthwhile to read by the fire this Fall? Then sign up for our complimentary 'Powerful Tools For Positive Living' newsletter packed with business hints, coaching tips, intriguing life-changing articles and updates sent right to your home or office every other month. Give us your mailing address and you'll get the latest issue at no charge. CLICK HERE

COPS ANSWERS TO SPEEDERS OF THE MOMENT

THESE POLICE COMMENTS WERE TAKEN OFF ACTUAL POLICE CAR VIDEOS AROUND THE COUNTRY:

#3. "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can."

#2. "I'm glad to hear that the Chief is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail."

AND THE WINNER IS.....

#1. "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

PONDERISMS OF THE MOMENT

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?"

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look there anyway?

DIET OF THE MOMENT

PERSPECTIVE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Carleen Ellis

When you have an 'I can't stand my Job' day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand.

When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair.

Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins. Take out the literature and read it carefully.

You will notice that in small print there is a statement: 'Every Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested'.

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, 'I am so glad I do not work in the Thermometer quality control at Johnson & Johnson.'

Have a nice day and remember, there is always someone else with a job that is more of a pain in the a-- than yours!

UNFORTUNATE LETTER OF THE MOMENT

To my darling husband, Before you return from your overseas trip I just want to let you know about the small accident I had with the pick up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately not too bad and I really didn't get hurt, so please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car. I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I am enclosing a picture for you. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again.

Your loving wife.

P.S. Your girlfriend called.

AUTUMN SMILES

We hope we made you smile, brighten your day or ya learned something new. If so, please forward this happy little email to a pal, a faraway relative, a co-worker or even the boss. We love to cheer people up and connect people worldwide. Spread the word about our "Virtual Moment of Joy" and let's hear from you too. Until next time, ENJOY A LAUGHTER-FILLED FALL!

KC Christensen-Lang, Success Coach/Joyologist
PR Consultant/Publicist/Speaker/Trainer
Multiple Streams of Income / Make Money While You Sleep Licensee
Owner/CEO, HAPPINESS IS...
(207) 361-2084
www.ToolsForPositiveLiving.com
www.CoachingForTopLeaders.com

Welcome to our new HAPPY MARKETPLACE! If you contact any of the vendors below, please let them know we sent you! Happy Browsing!

Night sweats can be a distant memory, and Lunar Radiance has what you need to Stay Dry, Stay Comfortable and Sleep Better. Fashion and function meet in our complete line of wicking sleepwear all geared toward helping you achieve a great night's sleep. Visit http://www.lunarradiance.com

“Speaking of Success” featuring KC Christensen-Lang, with the famed bestselling authors and brilliant personal development gurus, Jack Canfield (Chicken Soup for the Soul), Ken Blanchard (One Minute Manager) and Stephen Covey (7 Habits of Highly Effective People). Click HERE for more information.

Want your own small, but mighty ad emailed to hundreds of subscribers worldwide? Email your 50 word description to email address above. Only $25.00 USD. Reserve your spot for the June issue. First come, first serve. (Note: We reserve the right to refuse an ad nor do we claim any responsibility for the vendor or their products/services.)

Want to Join in the Fun?
Laughter is the Best Medicine!
Here is the link to subscribe!