Virtual Moment of Joy!
Cheerfully brought to you by:
KC Christensen-Lang, Joyologist / Success Coach
April 2007
 

FAN MAIL OF THE MOMENT

"Hey KC: Just want to say hi, and let you know it was great to receive this message today. I laughed out loud a number of times!"  Donna Kramer Merritt, Associate Publisher, body+soul Magazine

"The Virtual Moment of Joy is definitely worth signing up for. KC is the best. She's great at what she does and terrific at promoting others. Bless you KC!"  Dotsie Bregel, Founder of Boomer Women Speak and the National Association of Baby Boomer Women. www.nabbw.com, www.boomerwomenspeak.com 

"KC is one of those people you instantly LOVE to pieces. She is genuinely glad to hear from you when you write, always answers, and always has something uplifting to say. Her newsletter is properly named, too. It truly is a Virtual Moment of Joy. If you haven't signed up for her newsletter, you should. It will make you feel warm and fuzzy all over. There's always something in there to make you smile, giggle, or belly laugh. I open it first when I see it come in the mail. You rock girl!"  Queen JJ, www.queenjawjaw.com, Humorist for NABBW

QUOTE OF THE MOMENT

"For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

OFFICE EQUIPMENT OF THE MOMENT

"A printer consists of three main parts:  The case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light."  —Dave Barry

WORST DRIVER OF THE MOMENT

TRUTH OF THE MOMENT

Last night, my wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to her, "I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

She got up, unplugged the TV and then threw out my beer.

NAUGHTY PARROTS OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Rebecca Mosse

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two new female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing."

"What do they say?" the priest inquired.

They say, "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

"That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment.

"You know, I may have a solution to your problem. I have two male talking parrots named Francis and Peter, whom I’ve taught to pray and read the Bible. Bring your two parrots over to my house, and we'll put them in the cage with mine. My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship, and your parrots are sure to stop saying that awful phrase in no time."

"Thank you," the woman responded gratefully, "that sounds like the solution!"

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.  As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying. Impressed, she placed her two parrots in with them. 
After a few minutes, the female parrots squawked in unison: "Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?"

There was stunned silence. Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot, then jumped up and down in the cage and clicked his beak excitedly. "Put the beads away, Frank" he exclaimed, “Our prayers have been answered!"

TECHNOLOGY OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Bonnie Bufford

FOLKTALE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Melissa Jean Quiter, NLP

The House of 1000 Mirrors

Long ago in a small, far away village, there was a place known as the House of 1000 Mirrors. A small, happy little dog learned of this place and decided to visit. When he arrived, he bounced happily up the stairs to the doorway of the house. He looked through the doorway with his ears lifted high and his tail wagging as fast as it could. To his great surprise, he found himself staring at 1000 other happy little dogs with their tails wagging just as fast as his. He smiled a great smile, and was answered with 1000 great smiles just as warm and friendly. As he left the house, he thought to himself, "This is a wonderful place. I will come back and visit it often."

In this same village, another little dog, who was not quite as happy as the first one, decided to visit the house. He slowly climbed the stairs and hung his head low as he looked into the door. When he saw the 1000 unfriendly looking dogs staring back at him, he growled at them and was horrified to see 1000 little dogs growling back at him. As he left, he thought to himself, "That is a horrible place, and I will never go back there again."

All the faces in the world are mirrors. What kind of reflections do you see in the faces of the people you meet?

TURBO-CHARGE IN A MOMENT

Like to move forward quicker? Need a fresh perspective? Want renewed energy for your work? Build your confidence as a leader? Improve employee morale? Reduce your Stress? Striving for better life balance? Make more money? Then consider a lively Success Coaching session or PR Consultation! For a limited time, I am offering them FREE to anyone in the world....over the phone. Private, confidential, powerful! Aren't YOU worth it???

FREEBIES OF THE MOMENT

Many of you thanked me for my new site www.ToolsforSmartBusiness.com that I sent out as a helpful resource recently. Thanks to subscriber, Patrice Sweet of Stunning Spaces for adding these two helpful tools to our site:

FREE-411 – Instead of dialing 411 and being charged $.50 to $1.50, call this service from a cell phone or landline for “free” nationwide directory assistance. After a brief 20-second ad, you can get your number for free. Call 800-FREE-411.

If you have other resources or business tools, let me know!.

“Memo to Me” – Avoid visits to the “belated birthday” or “so sorry I missed your anniversary” section of your local card store. “Memo to Me” reminds you before the event. Just plug in your email, chose a password, and program the events you need to b e reminded of and when you need the reminders. www.memotome.com


SIMPLIFIED 1040 TAX FORM OF THE MOMENT

1. How much money did you make last year?

2. Send it in.

IMPORTANT DIFFERENCE OF THE MOMENT

What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?

A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!
A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

BLOGGING PRO OF THE MOMENT

Many of my clients are confused about blogs, their value, how to start one, and how it can benefit their business or add to their afterhours fun. Here is another resource for you...a true pro who has all those answers!

This is taught by a fellow Coach on the cutting edge...Andy Wibbel, a savvy Veteran blogger and Author of Blogwild! A Guide for Small Business Blogging.
He is full of vim and vigor, a young guy who isn't afraid to say what is on his mind and provides everything you need to know about blogs but were afraid to ask.
Featured in Wall Street Journal, Entrepreneur, USA Today, Chicago Tribune, Forbes, Wired and other national/int'l media as a recognized expert in
blogging and related technologies, Andy won Best Marketing Blog of the Year 2005 & 2006 from MarketingSherpa,
Inc. Andy has a variety of other blogging resources on his site, this is just one....HAPPY BLOGGING!

Main points of this course:

• How do blogs work?  How can businesses use blogs? How do I get started?

By the end of this course, participants will know if their business could benefit from using a blog and how to take the next step.

READING OF THE MOMENT

Thanks to all of you who bought my new book hot off the press, Speaking of Success, co-authored by the famed best selling authors, Jack Canfield, Ken Blanchard and Stephen Covey. There is still time to secure your own copy before the price goes up at the end of April when it hits Amazon. Want it autographed? Just lemme know! Click on the picture for more details or to order!


 

CORNY ONE LINERS OF THE MOMENT

What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

CREATIVITY OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Rebecca Mosses

An old Italian man lived alone in the country. He wanted to dig his tomato garden but it was very hard work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was now in prison. Sadly, the old man wrote a letter to his son, describing his predicament:

"Dear Vincent, I am feeling badly because I won't be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just too old to dig it up. I know if you were here my troubles would be over as you were happy to dig the plot for me. Love, Dad"

A few days later he received a letter from his son:

"Dear Dad,  Don't dig up that garden. That's where I buried the bodies. Love, Vinnie"

At 4 a.m. the next morning, FBI agents and local police arrived at the old man’s house, and dug up the entire area. When they didn’t find any bodies, they apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

"Dear Dad, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best I could do under the circumstances. Love you, Vinnie"

MEN VACUUMING FOR THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Ann Champagne

COOL SERVICES OF THE MOMENT

Here at Happiness Is...we offer a variety of services, programs, products and resources for your every need....from life and business coaching and humor, laughter and stress reduction programs, to business training, keynote speaking, fun workshops, PR consultation and lots more. Check out our packed, cheerful website for juicy details! www.ToolsForPositiveLiving.com

PRESCRIPTION OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Danita

A guy falls asleep on the beach for several hours and gets a horrible sunburn. He goes to the hospital and is promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister and seeing the severe pain he is in, the doctor goes ahead and prescribes continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours. 

The nurse, who is rather astounded, asks, "What good will Viagra do him, Doctor?"

"It'll keep the sheets off his legs."

MAIL OF THE MOMENT

Dread junk mail? Have no fear....our informative publication packed with business and life tips and interesting articles will rise to the top of your pile. Sign up for our FR*EE "Powerful Tools For Positive Living" newsletter sent right to your home or office every other month. CLICK HERE to give us your mailing address.

WORSE EMPLOYEE EVALUATION OF THE MOMENT

"When he opens his mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

NEW LANGUAGE OF THE MOMENT
Courtesy of Stan Barker, www.adworks.net

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.  As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".  In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy.  The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.  There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.  In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.  Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.  Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.  By the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".  During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.  Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.  Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

LAST REQUEST OF THE MOMENT

A plane passed through a severe storm. The turbulence was awful, and things went from bad to worse when one wing was struck by lightning.  One woman lost it completely.

She stood up in the front of the plane and screamed, "I'm too young to die!!" Then she yelled, "If I'm going to die, I want my last minutes on earth to be memorable! Is there anyone on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?"

For a moment, there was silence. Everyone stared at the desperate woman in the front of the plane. Then a Marine stood up in the rear of the plane. He was handsome, tall, well built, with dark brown hair and hazel eyes. Slowly, he started to walk up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt as he went, one button at a time. No one moved. He removed his shirt. Muscles rippled across his chest. She gasped. Then, he spoke.

"Iron this -- and then get me a beer.".

SENSE OF HUMOR OF THE MOMENT

Looking to make friends? Soften up the boss? Get in good with the family? Then forward your copy of the “Virtual Moment of Joy” to someone who appreciates a good laugh or could use some cheering up! We'd love them to join us....remember to GRIN AND SHARE IT!

HAPPY SPRING,
 

      
KC Christensen-Lang, Success Coach/Joyologist
PR Consultant/Publicist/Speaker/Trainer
Multiple Streams of Income / Make Money While You Sleep Licensee
Owner/CEO, HAPPINESS IS...
(207) 361-2084
www.ToolsForPositiveLiving.com  
www.DynamicDuoPR.com  
 

HAPPY MARKETPLACE OF THE MOMENT

Welcome to our new HAPPY MARKETPLACE!  If you contact any of the vendors below, please let them know we sent you!  Happy Browsing!

The best gift comes... From The Heart! What do you give a client to show your appreciation? A loved one to show your love? From The Heart's unique gift high-quality baskets is your number one solution to all your gift giving concerns. From beautiful, to heartwarming, to funny, to classy (and convenient too!) Sure to delight! Delivery - anywhere, anytime. Visit www.basketsbycatherine.com or call (207)363-2418

The National Association of Baby Boomer Women is the only association dedicated to enlightening, educating and empowering baby boomer women. We believe in empowering women at midlife to explore their passions and live life to the fullest. Please visit us at www.nabbw.com and see what we have to offer you.

Work Smarter Not Harder! We’ll help grow your business, attract media, speaking gigs, promote your book, product, service. Forget menial tasks; do what you love! Reduce stress; contact Dynamic Duo: PR Coach & Virtual Assistant dedicated to Your success; Two Pros For One Price! FREE Session! http://www.DynamicDuoPR.com

Get What You Deserve! A fabulous new T-shirt emblazoned with the empowering words, I DESERVE across the front, inspired by Oprah herself. Wear it with pride and when you leave, make ‘em smile because on the back, they’ll read; Happiness, love, respect, peace, friends, health, freedom, acceptance, equality, fun, joy, prosperity, honesty, fulfillment, success and more. Proceeds benefit the national teen self-esteem building nonprofit, Hey U.G.L.Y. For uplifting attire and laughter CDs, visit www.HeyUgly.org

Want your own small, but mighty ad emailed to hundreds of subscribers worldwide? Email your 50 word description to email address above. Only $25.00 USD. Reserve your spot for the May issue. First come, first serve. (Note: We reserve the right to refuse an ad nor do we claim any responsibility for the vendor or their products/services.)
 

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